This is a really personal decision. I usually recommend not telling anyone “early” that you wouldn’t feel comfortable telling them if there was a pregnancy loss. A lot of my patients feel comfortable telling more people after the first trimester (14 weeks). However, I’ve had patients share the news right away and also wait until much later. 

It's totally different for each person. Your OB/GYN provider will often discuss average ideal weight gain for your pregnancy based on your pre-pregnancy weight. 

This is different for every person/pregnancy. Often, you will show earlier in subsequent pregnancies. 

This is a very common question. In general, staying on an antidepressant often outweighs the risks to the pregnancy from the medication. However, there are some antidepressant medications that are preferred in pregnancy over others. Often, patients can be transitioned to these drugs prior to pregnancy. There are some psychiatric drugs that are contraindicated in pregnancy. I always recommend a discussion of risks/benefits with your OB/GYN early in pregnancy or if possible prior to pregnancy.

This is a really common fear. Early pregnancy can be really anxiety provoking. In general, the risk of miscarriage goes down in the second trimester.

Red discharge is usually bleeding and you should let your OB/GYN know so they can further evaluate you. 

There isn't an amount or type of alcohol that is considered safe in pregnancy.

It’s totally normal to have increases or decreases in libido, or no change at all. In general, it is safe to have sex throughout pregnancy, unless your provider has told you it is not safe (low lying placenta/placenta previa, or in certain situations where there is concern for preterm birth).

Screening for gestational diabetes (GDM) is recommended every pregnancy. Usually screening is done around 24-28 weeks. GDM is screened for because it is asymptomatic. It occurs in 7-10% of pregnancies.

I recommend to my patients that they start fetal kick counts at 28 weeks. I recommend doing kick counts once a day (usually after dinner is best). A normal kick count is 10 movements (doesn’t have to be a kick—swishes and rolls all count) in one hour. However, I recommend you ask your provider for their specific directions and recommendations for kick counts. 

I recommend using a pregnancy belt. This can take a lot of strain and pressure of the lower back. Stretching can also help. You can apply a heat pack to the low back as well. If it is not improving after doing these measures at home, talk to your doctor/provider about physical therapy.

I get this question often. The truth is, no matter what you do, labor can be hard. In general, I recommend staying active during pregnancy (walking is great) as this can put you in a good place mentally and physically for labor. 

It is normal to feel a little scattered at the end of pregnancy. This can be from poor sleep and/or anxiety/excitement for the upcoming arrival. If you feel like something is abnormal, especially accompanied with headache, blurry vision, please contact your provider immediately.

In labor, I expect regular, painful (have to breathe through them) contractions that continue for more than an hour. Braxton hicks contractions are often not very uncomfortable and do not occur at regular intervals or persist. 

I don’t routinely recommend doulas. However, I think for some patients they can be so helpful. I think this really depends on the experience you are looking for, what support you need, and where you are delivering.

A comfy robe, pajamas, sandals or slippers, chapstick. A couple of different size baby outfits for the baby to go home in (it is hard to know what will fit). Special snacks that you and your partner like :)

Short answer — there is no way to know. It can be different every time. In general, the total length of labor is often shorter with your second delivery.

It is hard to say. There is no definitive time point from losing your mucus plug to when labor starts. 

There are medical and elective inductions. Your provider may recommend an induction for a medical indication (gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, advanced maternal age). Some patients choose an elective induction. This is usually done 39-40 weeks. If you are considering an elective induction, I recommend talking to your provider about the pros/cons.

Risk of tearing is higher with your first pregnancy. Certain ethnicities have a higher risk of larger tears. Also a larger baby can increase tearing as well. There is data that starting digital perineal massage at 34 weeks can reduce tearing. Episiotomies are not routinely recommended these days. They are sometimes used for situations to expedite delivery. 

Very common and normal. We don’t say anything, so you won’t necessarily know and do not need to worry about it :)

This is pretty standard these days. However, sometimes in an emergency situation, the cord is cut quickly.

You don’t want to put anything on it for two weeks. In general, I recommend keeping the incision clean and dry. After two weeks, some patients use silicone gel sheets or topical products with vitamin E for improvement of cosmetic appearance. 

There are hormonal changes postpartum that can cause night sweats/more sweating. This can sometimes be a different odor then you are used to. If the smell is "fishy" accompanied by large amounts of discharge, this is more consistent with bacterial vaginosis and you should see your OB/GYN.

When you breastfeed, you release oxytocin which makes your uterus cramp. This is normal and will lessen over time. 

Please don’t feel guilty. Fed is best. You are doing a great job feeding your baby... Formula mom over here! 

I recommend using lubricant. If there is discomfort trying a different position can be helpful. If it is uncomfortable, I usually recommend waiting another 1-2 weeks and then trying again if you feel like it. If you continue to have pain or are concerned something is abnormal, talk to your doctor!

Tailbone pain is not uncommon after delivery. It can be from pushing and the baby’s head descending in the pelvis. But it is unusual to still have pain 3 months postpartum. I would recommend seeing your doctor/provider to get further evaluation including possible physical therapy and imaging.

Usually at your six week postpartum visit as long as there are no concerns with healing, your doctor will clear you for exercise.